I went to the house to water the flowers. It’s been 90+ degrees everyday for the last week and my flowers are the fine line between the house looking like it’s cared for and total abandonment. Lets face it, I haven’t gotten much done by way of the exterior window reglazing, replacing the half timbers or even painting.
I digress…
I strapped in my son and snatched up my mom to ride with me to the house to address the flowers. Too much was riding on keeping them alive and healthy. When we I pulled in the drive way I was glad I brought them, the sun was going down and I didn’t turn on the porchlight the last time I was there. It was the biggest pain to go to the back door in the dark, I can’t wait to get this front door fixed. So I decided not to bother with it. I mean why? The street light is hella bright and this should only take me a second. My mom and the baby won’t even have to get out of the car.
I went to the back yard and watered my amazon grass and salvia plants. For some reason there was a rushing in my soul as I fumbled with the water hose and valve. I had such a weird feeling but I just couldn’t put my finger on why. I just knew I had to finish up and get moving to the front yard. I was so rattled I started to re-wrap the hose on the rack but it was taking too long so I just dropped it and moved on.
I walked up the drive way, past my truck and across the front lawn to get the sprayer for the front flowers. I looked down the street as I picked up the sprayer and hose. I noticed something odd. It was so unexpected I wasn’t sure if I was actually seeing something or the shadows were playing pictionary with me. As they quickly got closer denial left my body and reality brought me a big box of “wake tha F*@# up!”. A rather large posse of something was making its way up the driveway in the failing light. My initial disbelief told me I was seeing a bunch of cats. A street gang of feral cats was alarming enough and my mind. I couldn’t comprehend why they were coming to my house or why they walked so funny.
Once they reached my back tire reality screamed , “Those ain’t no damn cats!”. No Sir, they weren’t. These were fearless and quite comfortable to be in your face and examining your car with their creepy little people hands RACCOONS… yes plural! There were five total… a full freaking family freaking me the hell out. I couldn’t turn the water hose on fast enough. Most certainly while trying to keep my composure in front of my Mom sitting in the car surrounded by car-jacking raccoons. My biggest fear was that she would open the door and like sound alerted zombies these things would rush in the car.
I turned to shake a kink out of the water hose and just like that, the damn things vanished into thin air.
Even though I was horrified I still watered my flowers. I hope they haven’t made it into the house.
